Conditional Love

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about what love is and what it really means. I think I’ve probably always had some kind of problem understanding or accepting love in one way or another. I have what they call “daddy issues” and I’ve had my very fair share of stupid boys. But, I’m not sure that is really where my warped perception of love comes from…

Think about how easy it is to say “I love you” to someone. I personally say it probably at least five to ten times a day. Love is something that is tossed around constantly in our society: We text it. We yearn for it. We show it. We confuse it. We use it as an excuse. We fight for it. We fake it. We reply with it. We make it….but do we ever think about it?

I remember a long time ago I learned that love is not a feeling; it’s a choice. I think I was really shocked when I heard that because it didn’t make sense to me. Not until I got older. Love is a choice. There are people in my life that are easy to love and there are people that I have to make a constant decision to love. I mean, think about it. Think about the last girl who broke your heart. The last boy who left you in the dust. The last friend who turned their back on you. Did they really love you? Sure, they said it and acted like it at the time, but does that really mean anything now? How could they love you when they hurt you so bad? And then what about you? Do you really love them even after everything was said and done?

Sadly, this has become our definition:

Love = conditional

This is usually how it works: I love him today because he’s treating me right. And then tomorrow: I don’t love him anymore because he broke up with me.

It’s a day-by-day basis. I love you if you love me. But that is the complete opposite of what love really is.

Love is a minute-by-minute choice to continually love someone no matter what. No. Matter. What. Love is true in the good times and even truer in the bad times. Love forgives. Love forgets the tears and remembers the laughs. Love lives and breathes and speaks throughout your being. Love endures through bad attitudes, harsh words, and final goodbyes. Love doesn’t change even when you do. Love is not a feeling. Love is nothing like we say it is.

Jesus never has a day where he just doesn't want to deal with us or changes his mind about us, so why do we have those days with other people?

I want to love my family. I want to love my friends. I want to love my classmates. I want to love my teachers. I want to love my church. I want to love my boss. I want to love my co-workers. I want to love total strangers. I want to love my ex-friends. And yes, I even want to love my ex-boyfriends. All of them. No matter how crappy they were. Haha.

So, today I am vowing to love. I will choose to love like Jesus loves: unconditionally.